Deep Sleep

I opened my eyes from a deep sleep. I know I was unconscious for a long time. Was it couple of hours, or a day? I am not sure, but from the numbness in my body I know that it was really long time.

The dreams I saw in my sleep were great and more to be true than dreams. I saw myself there, in that place I always wanted to be in, I was so happy and satisfied. I felt the soft breeze playing with my hair, the sun light burning my cheeks and the drops of the splashing waves of the ocean covered my body with cooling sensation. Everything was perfect; I can not believe all this was a dream.

There are voices calling me, I can hear them clearly now. Everyone said hello, welcome back.

Welcome back? Where have I been? I collected all my left energy to look around and figure out what was going on, but could not see anything. It was dark and still, only voices.

I started to understand, I think I am blind now. I could not resist my tears from falling. I knew that all what I had seen and described was a dream, because there is no way I could have seen this in real. I remember now, as if it is happening again. I can feel how I flew in the air after the car had hit me while I was crossing the street. I remember the driver jumped from his car, approached me, and talked to me to see if I am conscious or not. I can hear his voice so clearly. He was like crying and moaning. He is calling my name and asking me to forgive him!!!

I can not take it anymore; my memory is not helping me at all. My tears are rushing on my cheeks down to my neck till I felt a hand covering my face and wiping these warm salty tears. I felt breathing near my ear. Then he talked to me, it is the same voice I heard after the accident. He started crying again. Then he said: “Sweetie I am very sorry, I did not see you coming in front of the car. I can not forgive myself for all this!!!” Then crying again.

Yeah, I remember now, it is him, my hubby. How come he could not see me while I was standing near the pavement showing him the way inside the garage? It was me who always waiting him on the corner, waving for him and showing him the way into the narrow space for him to park in.

I know you did not do this on purpose. I am sure you never meant to hurt me. But after all these wounds and tears, I forgive with all my heart. But after I lost my vision, do you think I can forgive more? Do you think I can see, to lead you again for any path you want to pass through? What will forgiveness do now?!!!