Jigsaw puzzle

"What time is it now? Oh it is 10-30! Still early I guess" talking to myself after I finished my house work -which never ends- I headed to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee.

I sat on my lazy-chair to drink my coffee. I looked all around the living room, it looked very neat and cozy, I think it is a treasure to be in love with your home.

Suddenly I started to think of my life, I mean my own personal life. I wonder if I am happy, or satisfied. Since I get married I was concentrating on my home, husband and kids. I am happy to be a perfect wife and mum. They are my life. So, when they are perfect I guess I am too.

But still when I think of it this way, I don’t feel the satisfaction I need. There is still something missing. What could it be?!!! My home is perfect, my kids are wonderful and well educated, and my beloved husband is a kind husband, he loves me and respects me.

He never forgot how I was there beside him for good and bad, in ups and downs. He always reminds me of it and rewards me for everything I have done to him. His warm and loving words are the most wonderful kind of rewards for me. I guess I own the world when he expresses his feelings and appreciation.

Who on the world will not be happy to have all this?!! But yet I feel there is something missing. I have to search for it and find it. I should know what will make me in my best levels of happiness.

I stood up and started to make a tour in my home. I looked from the window to see the front yard, where we used to make our barbeque gatherings with neighbors and friends. We had good time sharing these moments together.

I released it will be difficult to remember all these memories and can't draw a smile on my face. I don’t know what is going on with me today!! But there should be something wrong and I should know it, sooner or later.

I decided to take a shower, I went to my bathroom, I opened the tap and let the water run till I get my things ready. I tested the water on my finger tips, it is warm. I get in the tub, but I felt too lazy, so I decided to spoil myself today.

I reached to the foam bath, I stared at the bottle. It is full. I tried to remember when the last time I used it was; I think it was like years. I emptied half of it in the tub, and started to relax.

Silence for about half an hour, this silence was in my mind, heart and soul. I thought of nothing, just live the second with my soul. What a relief?!! I miss it so much. I miss being with myself. No one around, no one in my mind, except me.

I felt dizzy. I didn’t realize that I am going into a deep sleep, or to be more accurate, deep relaxation. Time passed, the water began to be a bit cold on my body, but I didn’t care. I was enjoying every second alone. I want it to be everlasting enjoyment.

I open my eyes, I felt cold now. I took my towel and wrap myself in it. I went to my room and lie on the bed. It took me another fifteen minutes to gather my strength and energy back. I suddenly opened my eyes and knew what I should do now. I sat in front of the mirror, looked at myself.
"When was the last time you pampered yourself?" I talk to myself in the mirror.
"All what you cared of is your family, and between these busy days you forgot yourself!"
"You should have time for yourself too! You are spending your time watching the family and no one is looking after you! There is no harm in having couple of hours a week for you."
What a big smile was drawn on my face after I discovered what was missing.
I decided to wear some makeup, and get dressed to go outside.
I called my husband, he was too busy to answer my calls. But I insisted on calling his mobile, till he answered me.
"What's up darling?" he wondered, "I am in a middle of a meeting, is there anything wrong with you?!" he asked.
"No, sweetie. I just wanted to tell you that I am going out for lunch today, so, I want you to bring the kids from school, and take them out for lunch because I didn’t cook." Nervously I answered him, knowing nothing of what might his reaction would be.
"Out for lunch?! You have never done it before! emmm But if you feel like spending some private time by yourself it is ok. But next time try to tell me before, to make sure of my plans too. Don’t worry, I will bring the kids. You go and have fun… by the way, with whom are you going out?" he asked
"What a good question?" I thought.
"mmm believe it or not, I don’t know" I answered.
"ok, here is an idea, you go and do some shopping, and when it is time to bring the kids, I will bring them and call you to go all together and have launch outside, what do you think?" he asked.
"oh yeh, this seems fun. I am going to the mall." I replied.
"ok huni, have fun."
End of the call.

I started my car, heading to the mall. All the way I was thinking about one thing. I should start new life style, with some activities and fun with some of my friends which we didn’t meet for years.
I discovered that there is no perfection in life, but at least we can make it look like perfect. Like a jigsaw puzzle, it is a full picture, but all you need to do is to gather it to make a wonderful image.